A Treatise on Astronomy: Redacted Poem #1
A page of Sir John F. W. Herschel’s “A Treatise on Astronomy” (1838) redacted into a poem. I chose Chapter I, “The Atmosphere,” to redact in honor of Felix Baumgartner’s October 14, 2012 historic jump from 128,000 feet.
tychogirl 
Just dropped by to say I have been enjoying your posts of redacted poetry.
M
__________
Marie Marshall
author/poet/editor
Scotland
Thanks! Glad you’re enjoying the redacted poems. I like the fragment poetry on your poetry blog as well. Nicely done. Looking forward to following your work.
Redaction males for the most interesting poems sometimes. What a great way to celebrate that amazing leap! Well done.
Oops, so does typing on an Ipad. I meant “makes”! 🙂
I agree! Redaction requires a different way of reading the original text. Kind of a gestalt shift! So glad you dropped by to check out the poem. Looking forward to reading/following your blog as well.
Reblogged this on Todd's Blog and commented:
Maybe I could do something like this – pick a book, highlight the phrases or words I have picked for my poem and blackout the words I do not use, and post! A-Ha! Coolest post ever. I call this Creative Poetry.
Thanks for the reblog! Glad you enjoyed this project/poem. If you decide to do a redacted poem too, please let me know! I’d enjoy seeing it. Cheers.
Fantastic. Best found poem I’ve ever read. More please.
Wow, thanks! So glad you enjoyed the redacted poem. I’m certainly planning to write more and intersperse them with my free verse poems. So many lovely ancient texts out there to redact . . .
I’m glad there will be more. Your method is really ingenious and I enjoyed reading your version of the “treatise.” thank you again…
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Clever. Perceptive. Brilliant.
Thanks so much for dropping by, checking out the poem, and leaving a comment. All much appreciated! Cheers.
Nice! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Thanks so much! I was certainly amazed and very humbled at being Freshly Pressed. So glad you dropped by to check out my poem. Cheers.
Beautiful, love this! So glad it was pressed
Thanks so much! So very glad you liked it. All the best to you.
This looked like a lot of fun to do. Might try it.
Redacting is great fun! Hope you’ll give it a shot. If you do, please drop me a comment alerting me so I can see it. Thanks for dropping by to check out the poem. Cheers!
Good Morning: Extraordinarily clever. Keep up the good work. Vonn Scott Bair
Thank you kindly! Glad you dropped by and enjoyed the poem. All the best to you.
Love the poem – amazing the things you can discover in text 🙂
Wow, thanks so much! So glad you dropped by to check out the poem. Much appreciated.
This was good for a laugh and a half! AND a “like”! Well-done. Keep up the good work.
Hey, thanks! Glad you liked the poem. I’m very grateful you dropped by and left a comment. Cheers!
Love this! Awesome! Can’t wait to see your next piece of work!
Thanks! Much appreciated.
That was very clever! I like it! Great to find another astronomy fan, too! 🙂
Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed the poem. Cheers!
Love this.
Wow, thanks! Much appreciated.
Reblogged this on Autumn Leaves Fall Slowly.
Thanks for the reblog! Glad you enjoyed the poem.
No problem! I thought it was really fascinating. I love poetry like this.
Nice one! I wrote about Herschel on my blog too – he once said, there were aliens on the moon! Looking forward to reading your blog, it would be great if you’d visit mine too!
Love your astronomy blog! Well-done. Thanks for dropping by, checking out my poem, and posting a comment. Much appreciated!
Thanks a lot! Looking forward to more poems!!
Really cool! 🙂
Thanks so much!
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This is amazing found method. I feel sudden urge to find a book and colour through words. Thanks for this inspiration.
Redacting poems (also called erasure by some) is very inspirational! I hope you’ll give it a shot. If you do and you post the result, please let me know. I’d enjoy reading it!
I really enjoyed this, and redacted for such a suitable occasion, too – thanks for posting! Going to have a try at this technique myself sometime 🙂
Really glad you enjoyed this post. Thanks for your comment and for the reblog! I hope you’ll give redacting a shot and share the result on your blog. If you do, please let me know so I can check it out.
Reblogged this on Mood Music and commented:
I really enjoyed this, and redacted for such a suitable occasion, too. Going to have a try at this technique myself sometime 🙂
Your tribute is as heartening as Baumgartner’s lack of chest-beating. Great job!
Wow, thanks so much!
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I’ve never come across redacted poetry before, but I have to say that’s awesome – just like Felix’s leap from space. Great stuff!
Thanks! I have to admit I’m not the first to come up with the idea, but I *believe* I’m the first to apply it to astronomy texts. Lots of lovely examples of redacted poetry (some folks call it erasure poetry) out there. Hope you’ll check some of them out.
Interesting content!
Thanks so much for dropping by and for your comment!
This is really fantastic! Seems like most often I see redacted poetry from any old source and sometimes it just doesn’t flow too well. But you’ve got a great unity of source material and poem. Good job, and congrats on being freshly pressed!
Thanks a bunch for your nice comment! I worked pretty hard to find a good source to redact, and as I approached the text with my pencil I had *some* vague sense of what I wanted the final poem to say. Really glad to hear that the meticulous work I did paid off. Best wishes to you.
WOW! That was WORK! Just being poetic is work. But, to do that from someone else’s words is like, CRAZY.
I applaud your ability to do what I cannot.
ghost!
Thanks! Glad you liked this poem. I bet you could redact text into a poem, and I challenge you to give it a try. If you do, be sure to let me know!
I do not think so, but I will try….
Reblogged this on thewordpressghost and commented:
Everyone, stop by and read a challenging poem.
Not only is it poetic, something I am no good at, but the poet did so by using someone else’s words.
I have never seen anything like this.
Check it out and tell me what you think.
ghost.
You’ve combined a number of things I love – Astronomy and literature, being inspired by words of others and creating something that is at once borrowed and unique. No one writes or creates in a vacuum and I like the upfrontness of sort of ‘showing your working’ by laying the new over the original. Fun and I want to try!
Such insightful and kind comments! Thanks! This is the first redacted poem where I’ve allowed the original text to show through. My previous attempts involved scissors and lots and lots of White-out. I really hope you will try it and share your result! Cheers.
I really enjoyed this.
Thanks so much!
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Reblogged this on birdmanps.
Thanks for the reblog!
I’ve never seen this done before! I love it! It’s seriously stirring both as visual art and poetry. Well done! (goes off to find things to redact)
Thanks! You should definitely try redacting. It’s great fun. (I learned about the technique from a guy who redacts the New York Times.) Be sure to share what you create! Would love to see it.
Reblogged this on stephenfranano.
Thanks for the reblog!
That’s pretty awesome …
Thanks! Much appreciated.
Fantastic. A bit like the Bowie Cut Up Method.
Wow a lot of ppm like this 😀
Lol
I kinds like this
Thanks!!
Reblogged this on it's about writing and commented:
I absolutely love ‘redacted’ or ‘found’ poetry. I have been creating them in my head since I was a kid making poems out of National Geographic articles. It really can be eye opening.